Osama bin Laden finds himself in a fog outside the pearly gates. As the mist starts to clear, he sees a man coming at him with a raised hand. It was George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled: “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!”
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose, knocking Osama to the ground, and shouted: “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed.”
James Madison followed, kicked him in the stomach and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”
Thomas Jefferson was next, and he beat Osama with a long cane and snarled: “It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.”
The beatings and thrashing continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 64 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.
As Osama lay writhing in pain, he spotted Muhammad walking nearby. Bin Laden wept and said: “This is not what you promised me.”
Muhammad replied: “I told you there would be 70 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?